.....is there really a definition?? I think not.
I have been thinking about this alot lately, as I have been presented with a "huge" opportunity at work, and am currently debating the "mom vs. career" decision. I want my daughter to have a very strong woman role model in her life. I realize that "strong" has many definitions. When I say strong, I mean: strong in her faith, strong in her compassion, strong mentally, strong emotionally, and the ipitamy of woman, meaning strength in all you do. I want her to have the confidence to stand up for the innocent and weak, but at the same time, stand up for herself. I want her to be strong in her faith, and hopefully her faith will be unshakable. I want her to be confident in her studies, her knowledge and never doubt herself for a minute. I want her to have the strength to be herself no matter what anyone else says....... I want my daughter to change the world..... (Small expectations, huh??) Is there really a way to teach that..?? I have no idea. I just thank God, that she has several "strong women" in her life, and hopefully one day she will consider me one of them. My hope is that one day, all of these wonderful influences will make her a strong, beautiful, confident woman........
At this point, I have to decide if I can really be a "career mom" or if I need to let it go and be a "traditional mom". I am at a point in my life, where I cannot define either of those. I am honestly more confused now than I have been in such a long time...... Can you tell?????
The only thing I know without the shadow of a doubt, is that Audrey is the most important thing in my life, and all my decisions will be based on what is in her best interest. After all, a deal is a deal ..... (refer to my 1st blog)
Side note: I am also extremely Thankful for all the strong men in her life....
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Mommy panic
STRESSSSS~~!!!!!
It is viciously storming outside, severe thunderstorm warnings are everywhere, and being the geniuses that we are, we decided to move Ms. Audrey into her own room tonight!
Granted, the decision was made earlier this week, when we noticed she was sleeping mostly through the night. Regardless, this momma is panicking!! I know she will be fine, and that it is better for everyone involved, but I cannot seem to contain the "momma panic". What if the gigantic tree outside her window, busts her window?, what if she rolls over into the bumper pads?, what if, what if, what if. I can't seem to make my brain stop playing the "what if" card. In all reality, outside of my CRAZY mind, I know she will be ok. She has been rolling over all by herself for almost a month and a half now; no need to worry about the bumper pads. The tree has been there the entire 2 and a half years we have been here.... all windows are still intact. She has been sleeping on her stomach for at least a month with no mishaps.
If I am this much of a mess just because she is sleeping on a different floor of the house, what the heck am I going to do when this kid goes to college??? Sheesh!!!!
P.S. I forgot to mention that we have video monitors, so I can see every move she makes..... Guess that makes me even more crazy for worrying!!!!!!!
It is viciously storming outside, severe thunderstorm warnings are everywhere, and being the geniuses that we are, we decided to move Ms. Audrey into her own room tonight!
Granted, the decision was made earlier this week, when we noticed she was sleeping mostly through the night. Regardless, this momma is panicking!! I know she will be fine, and that it is better for everyone involved, but I cannot seem to contain the "momma panic". What if the gigantic tree outside her window, busts her window?, what if she rolls over into the bumper pads?, what if, what if, what if. I can't seem to make my brain stop playing the "what if" card. In all reality, outside of my CRAZY mind, I know she will be ok. She has been rolling over all by herself for almost a month and a half now; no need to worry about the bumper pads. The tree has been there the entire 2 and a half years we have been here.... all windows are still intact. She has been sleeping on her stomach for at least a month with no mishaps.
If I am this much of a mess just because she is sleeping on a different floor of the house, what the heck am I going to do when this kid goes to college??? Sheesh!!!!
P.S. I forgot to mention that we have video monitors, so I can see every move she makes..... Guess that makes me even more crazy for worrying!!!!!!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Things to remember.....
1. 2am diaper blowouts suck
2. I don't buy into the "don't hold the baby too much you will spoil the baby", thing.
3. Huggies are much better than Pampers
4. Swaddling blankets are much better than receiving blankets.
5. The boppy and Bumbo are essentials
6. No need to buy a ton of toys, he/she is just as fascinated with his/her feet.
7. Don't buy hairbows until she has hair, (who knows when that will ever happen!?!).
8. Be prepared for "mommy" paranoia. Suddenly everything is a potential hazard to your baby.
9. Babies are not cheap
10. There are always ways to cut corners/costs.
11. Coupons are amazing
12. It is possible to function on zero sleep, you actually kind of get used to it.
13. Everyone has an opinion, but you don't have to listen to them.
14. Jeremy is wonderful with babies
15. Breastfeeding is best.
16. Just because it's expensive, doesn't necessarily mean it's the best thing for your baby.
17. The 1st smile and all those after make everything worth it.
18. I love being pregnant.
19. Baby fever NEVER goes away.
20. Being a Mommy is amazing!!! (It would be even better if we got paid for it!)
2. I don't buy into the "don't hold the baby too much you will spoil the baby", thing.
3. Huggies are much better than Pampers
4. Swaddling blankets are much better than receiving blankets.
5. The boppy and Bumbo are essentials
6. No need to buy a ton of toys, he/she is just as fascinated with his/her feet.
7. Don't buy hairbows until she has hair, (who knows when that will ever happen!?!).
8. Be prepared for "mommy" paranoia. Suddenly everything is a potential hazard to your baby.
9. Babies are not cheap
10. There are always ways to cut corners/costs.
11. Coupons are amazing
12. It is possible to function on zero sleep, you actually kind of get used to it.
13. Everyone has an opinion, but you don't have to listen to them.
14. Jeremy is wonderful with babies
15. Breastfeeding is best.
16. Just because it's expensive, doesn't necessarily mean it's the best thing for your baby.
17. The 1st smile and all those after make everything worth it.
18. I love being pregnant.
19. Baby fever NEVER goes away.
20. Being a Mommy is amazing!!! (It would be even better if we got paid for it!)
Monday, August 2, 2010
So, She's a little petite!
At Audrey's 4 month check up, she weighed in at 13 lbs, 25 inches long, and a head circumference of 40 centimeters. So, yes she's tiny! I hate that word. Everyone tells me she's tiny! I know she's tiny, but I prefer "petite". I have fretted over her size for a month now, but according to Dr. Revelette, she's growing perfectly. Actually, she is developmentally 6 to 8 weeks ahead of where she should be. She has been rolling over for quite a while now and he thinks she will be crawling soon, and may be walking by 8 or 9 months. He encouraged us to keep up with her activity, including toys, so she doesn't get bored! Genius!! :)
People look at me like I am crazy when I say she is bored, but he finally validated my point! Infants can get bored, score one for mom!!
I haven't quite decided on when to start her on solid food. The pediatrician recommended waiting until she is 5 months old, since she is still somewhat breastfed. The nutritional value of solids at this point isn't even close compared to breast milk or formula. I am just dying to try it to see the look on her face! I have always gone with the pediatrician's recommendations, so it is going to be hard to deviate from it. I did tell him I plan on making my own baby food, and he LOVED the idea!
I am amazed at the reactions I get when I tell people I am going to make my own baby food. Some people are wonderfully supportive, and other people look at me like I have 3 heads. I actually had a woman look at me and say, "You are just over compensating because you feel bad for working so much." Needless to say, I don't talk to her much. I plan on making my own baby food because I think it is what is best for my daughter. I want to know exactly what is going into her "tiny" body, and hopefully it will persuade her that fresh food is always best!
I have the best intentions, I just hope I can pull it off!!
People look at me like I am crazy when I say she is bored, but he finally validated my point! Infants can get bored, score one for mom!!
I haven't quite decided on when to start her on solid food. The pediatrician recommended waiting until she is 5 months old, since she is still somewhat breastfed. The nutritional value of solids at this point isn't even close compared to breast milk or formula. I am just dying to try it to see the look on her face! I have always gone with the pediatrician's recommendations, so it is going to be hard to deviate from it. I did tell him I plan on making my own baby food, and he LOVED the idea!
I am amazed at the reactions I get when I tell people I am going to make my own baby food. Some people are wonderfully supportive, and other people look at me like I have 3 heads. I actually had a woman look at me and say, "You are just over compensating because you feel bad for working so much." Needless to say, I don't talk to her much. I plan on making my own baby food because I think it is what is best for my daughter. I want to know exactly what is going into her "tiny" body, and hopefully it will persuade her that fresh food is always best!
I have the best intentions, I just hope I can pull it off!!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Food for thought
As I sit here watching Audrey sleep, I can't help but think how utterly happy I am with my life right now! She is growing so fast, and each day brings new things. I am blessed in so many ways, and thankful for each one of them.
I have a beautiful, healthy, amazing daughter (although she is slightly spoiled).
I am married to a good man, a good husband, and a great father.
I have a supportive family.
We are both employed ( in this economy that is a huge plus)
What else is there? When it all boils down to the grand scheme of things, I have everything I ever wanted.
Life is good, and my heart is happy~
I have a beautiful, healthy, amazing daughter (although she is slightly spoiled).
I am married to a good man, a good husband, and a great father.
I have a supportive family.
We are both employed ( in this economy that is a huge plus)
What else is there? When it all boils down to the grand scheme of things, I have everything I ever wanted.
Life is good, and my heart is happy~
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
#2??
I have been thinking alot lately about #2... Yes, that's right, I have baby fever already! I LOVED being pregnant and would do it again in a heartbeat. If that little voice in my head was not screaming "BE RESPONSIBLE", I would go full steam ahead, but there are things to consider besides my recent obsession with babies.
We have talked about it, at length, and are going to wait at least a year, and reevaluate the situation. If I find myself in a position where I am able to work closer to home, we will evaluate before then. I will be 30 next year, and with our "trouble" and past history, I am not entirely convinced we are meant to "have" #2, but I am ok with that. Maybe it is our "history" that has prepared me for that reality, and I am fine with the struggle that will ensue once again. If it becomes too much of a struggle, we will start the adoption process. That is something we have already decided as well. I desperately want Audrey to have a immediate family that consists of a little brother or sister, and experience that unique bond. As the oldest of 4, I know how rewarding that bond is. She will have a cousin (Mr. Kayden sometime at the end of Sept.) 6 months younger than she is, and I am looking forward to watching them grow together. I can't wait. The next year is going to be AMAZING!!!
On a side note: It's nice to finally be at peace with "the struggle",as I have realized not to let the "struggle" define me. It does not make me less of a person, or a weaker person. It allows me to draw on my experiences, and I like to think "the struggle" gave me a unique perspective and will make me a better parent. I firmly believe I am meant to be a mom, and God has granted me that amazing privilege. If I am meant to be pregnant again, I will be. I have faith in that. If not, that's ok, because pregnant or not, I am someone's mom, and will be again, and hopefully we can come up with a better name than "#2". :)
We have talked about it, at length, and are going to wait at least a year, and reevaluate the situation. If I find myself in a position where I am able to work closer to home, we will evaluate before then. I will be 30 next year, and with our "trouble" and past history, I am not entirely convinced we are meant to "have" #2, but I am ok with that. Maybe it is our "history" that has prepared me for that reality, and I am fine with the struggle that will ensue once again. If it becomes too much of a struggle, we will start the adoption process. That is something we have already decided as well. I desperately want Audrey to have a immediate family that consists of a little brother or sister, and experience that unique bond. As the oldest of 4, I know how rewarding that bond is. She will have a cousin (Mr. Kayden sometime at the end of Sept.) 6 months younger than she is, and I am looking forward to watching them grow together. I can't wait. The next year is going to be AMAZING!!!
On a side note: It's nice to finally be at peace with "the struggle",as I have realized not to let the "struggle" define me. It does not make me less of a person, or a weaker person. It allows me to draw on my experiences, and I like to think "the struggle" gave me a unique perspective and will make me a better parent. I firmly believe I am meant to be a mom, and God has granted me that amazing privilege. If I am meant to be pregnant again, I will be. I have faith in that. If not, that's ok, because pregnant or not, I am someone's mom, and will be again, and hopefully we can come up with a better name than "#2". :)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Back to Reality.....
I can honestly say, this week sucks! Not only did I return to work Monday, I left my precious, precious little girl with strangers at (drum roll please) DAYCARE!
Granted, I am not the only person on the planet who has to use daycare, but that did not make leaving my little girl there any easier. As Jeremy says, "She will be fine, all they have to do is feed her and change her diaper." Intellectually, I understand that, but my heart was not getting the message. Not only did I feel like I was deserting my child, the guilt was ridiculous!! All I could think was " I am leaving my child with strangers, way to win the mother of the year award (sarcasm)." It is getting a little easier each day, but I still call and check on her daily. Ms. Debbie (lead "teacher") probably thinks I am a lunatic, but that's ok. Monday I called her 4 times, but I have reduced my calls to a meager 2 per day. So far, everything has gone really well!!
It is amazing how priorities change. 11 months ago, I would have worked myself into the ground to get another promotion, now I can honestly say, it doesn't matter in the slightest. I have an amazing, wonderful job.... being a mom. I never thought I could be a stay at home mom, because I was a "career woman". HA!! I would LOVE to stay at home and enjoy every day with Audrey. Alas, I did not win the lottery on my birthday, and someone has to pay for a car, college tuition, braces...etc. So needless to say, I drag my very non motivated butt to work daily now, which is getting easier, by the way. I do, however, watch the clock and count the minutes until I come home to my precious little girl.
I must remember to count my blessings, as I was fortunate enough to stay home with Audrey for 2 and a half months. Some are not as fortunate, and have to rely on day care for their child at 6 weeks old.
Granted, I am not the only person on the planet who has to use daycare, but that did not make leaving my little girl there any easier. As Jeremy says, "She will be fine, all they have to do is feed her and change her diaper." Intellectually, I understand that, but my heart was not getting the message. Not only did I feel like I was deserting my child, the guilt was ridiculous!! All I could think was " I am leaving my child with strangers, way to win the mother of the year award (sarcasm)." It is getting a little easier each day, but I still call and check on her daily. Ms. Debbie (lead "teacher") probably thinks I am a lunatic, but that's ok. Monday I called her 4 times, but I have reduced my calls to a meager 2 per day. So far, everything has gone really well!!
It is amazing how priorities change. 11 months ago, I would have worked myself into the ground to get another promotion, now I can honestly say, it doesn't matter in the slightest. I have an amazing, wonderful job.... being a mom. I never thought I could be a stay at home mom, because I was a "career woman". HA!! I would LOVE to stay at home and enjoy every day with Audrey. Alas, I did not win the lottery on my birthday, and someone has to pay for a car, college tuition, braces...etc. So needless to say, I drag my very non motivated butt to work daily now, which is getting easier, by the way. I do, however, watch the clock and count the minutes until I come home to my precious little girl.
I must remember to count my blessings, as I was fortunate enough to stay home with Audrey for 2 and a half months. Some are not as fortunate, and have to rely on day care for their child at 6 weeks old.
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