Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Estrogen x 2!!

It's a girl!!

 That's right...two teenage girls in the house at the same time! YIKES! Or of course, as Jeremy put it, "We have two weddings to pay for!"  I think he was in shock for a solid 30 minutes after the ultrasound technician told us, it was quite funny!! Then of course, he thought about the bathroom situation, which will luckily will work out in our house...I am telling you the Man upstairs planned this one well :) Then of course, as he often does, he made me so proud, when he looked at me and said "I get to have 2 daddy's girls! Is it bad that I don't want them to get married, because I don't want to give either of them away?" Seriously, how sweet was that?!? I Love that man!

I braced him before the appointment, and told him I thought it was a girl. When I first found out I was pregnant I really thought it was a boy, but I think that was mostly "wishful" thinking. I really wanted Jeremy to have a boy, as he is the last one to carry on the family name. Over the past month, I have had that voice in the back of my head screaming "GIRL", and wouldn't you know it... My gut was right!

I am super excited, although a little overwhelmed to have two girls! My sister and I are close, and I can only hope Audrey and her sister are extremely close! I am very overwhelmed at the thought of two teenage girls. Those of you that know me, know the girly girl stuff is not me. I think I am mostly overwhelmed because I have 2 little girls who will be looking to me as a role model, and I want to be the best/most positive role model I can be.... No pressure!. Luckily, we have plenty of females in our family who I think are going to be wonderfully positive influences. I just don't want to pass on my negative personality traits to "my girls" ( I like the sound of that!!)  STRESS!

I was a little upset/disappointed at most people's reaction when we told them we were having another girl. I can't even count the number of people who not only asked us if we were disappointed, but voiced their "disappointment." Disappointment is not the right word I guess, I really don't know what the word would be. They were obviously happy that we were having another baby, but I felt like people were kind of  "let down"' that it wasn't a boy. I know most people just wanted us to have one of each, especially since Jeremy is the last of his family to be able to carry  on the family name, so I tried to keep that in mind. I was just frustrated because I prayed so hard for a healthy baby, not a penis! I just see things differently because of our past, and maybe I am a little oversensitive. My mental checklist consisted of , kidneys are ok, heart beat is good, spine looks fine, etc. When my checklist was complete, and everything was fine, she could have told me it was twins and I would have been just as happy (after I passed out ;)) We are so blessed to have 2 healthy girls, considering we weren't sure we would have any children at one time. Again, maybe I am just super sensitive, I don't know...hormones are currently messing with my head :)  Besides all that, my sister in law is probably going to have a house full of boys, so we can "trade" occasionally, because I am sure she needs little girls to spoil! I know my sister is looking forward to it too, after all , she can help me with the "girly" stuff I am no good at!! Again, I believe the Man has a plan for us!

We still haven't decided on a name! Even if we were going to tell everyone her name, we would have nothing to tell. We agreed on Audrey fairly quickly, and it seems perfect for her (of course,I think so). I think we are having such a hard time because we want a name with meaning. Audrey means noble strength, and her middle name. Leigh, is her great grandmother's middle name. We both absolutely adore her great grandmother, she is one helluva lady!! I want Audrey to inherit her strength, compassion, and acceptance of others. Now, where does that leave #2?? Nameless for now. I have tried to combine Jeremy's sister and my sister's middle name... and it just didn't work. Back to the drawing board. I think we are going to try to go with a classic name...maybe. At this point I am open to all suggestions :)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

19 weeks in...

19 weeks into this pregnancy, and I am already hot and tired!! I am actually showing a bit now, so that is at least a little visible reminder that it is all worth it!
At my last doctor's appointment, I got the "eye" because I had not gained any weight, I actually lost a few more pounds, so I have been trying to remind myself to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. For some reason, that is no easy feat. I am not "starving" all the time, and some days, I just forget to eat. Yes, I know how stupid that sounds. It's almost as if I have no appetite with this pregnancy.. it's very weird!  We also talked about my headaches again. Apparently, those brain squeezing headaches I have been experiencing are tension headaches. (I didn't even realize I was stressed!) He gave me some medication to take when the headache becomes unbearable, which was my compromise since I hate taking medication while pregnant. This is a much milder medication than what he originally suggested, and now that I think about it, I think that this medication was his intention all along. Apparently, he knows me pretty well. After a fairly long discussion, he finally persuaded me that the benefit of the medication far out weighed the risk to the baby. After I thought about it I realized I stopped taking the fertility drugs because they made me feel horrible.  I didn't want to be unfair to Audrey. Well, it was pretty unfair of me not to think about her in this process, because a mom with a wicked headache is no fun! So far I have only had to take 2 pills, so I don't think that's too awful!

My next appointment is next week. Yes, it is THAT appointment. We have the choice of finding out if we are having a girl or boy. I knew it was a girl before we walked into the doctor's office when we found out Ms. Audrey was on the way, so I am betting my instinct is right this time. I still haven't decided if I want to know, and according to Jeremy it doesn't matter to him either this time.  Looks like we will be making a spur of the moment decision.

We are having a really hard time with names, which surprised me. Last time we had it narrowed down to 2 names by 20 weeks. This time, we aren't even close to narrowing it down. We are toying with the idea of keeping the name a secret if we find out if it's a girl or boy. We really enjoyed keeping Audrey's sex a secret. Knowing what no one else did, gave us a little more time to bond with her before we shared her with the world.  We haven't decided for sure if we are going to "let the cat out of the bag" or not. We have to be able to at least decide on a name before we make any more decisions.....

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Life afer tubes...

Everyone told me how different Audrey would be after her tubes were put in, but I could not imagine a happier, more content baby. I was wrong! Not only is she happier, she eats better (we are hoping to break the 20 pound mark soon), she sleeps better, and obviously, she FEELS better! The past 10 days have been remarkable.

In the past 10 days, she has started walking, given up her night time bottle, picked up a few more words, and has become a very expressive child who wants to explore EVERYTHING! It is pretty impressive, if you ask me, but I am kind of biased :)

Most importantly, I can tell a HUGE difference in how she feels. She laughs more, and is constantly on the move. When dealing with all of her ear infections, sometimes she would just want to sit and play with her books, or want me to hold her all the time. She was a happy baby, but she didn't laugh unless she deemed something hilarious. Now, she is exploring and getting into everything, and constantly laughing.

The doctor removed fluid and infection from both of her ears. When we originally went in for the consultation he told us her hearing was "impaired" and the fluid was throwing off her balance. I didn't realized how much that alone was affecting her. The day we brought her home, she seemed to be able to hear better, and her balance improved instantly. Every single second of being anxious and worried about the surgery was worth it. It is such a relief to know how much better our baby feels.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Ear infections....

..oh, how I HATE them. Let me explain... We know an ear infection is brewing when Audrey's nose starts running. That is usually followed by 2 days of "crankiness" (sporadic fussiness), two nights of waking up every 3 hours, then a trip to the pediatrician, the antibiotics start, one more night of waking every few hours, diaper rash, then we finally have a happy baby. Repeat every 2 to 3 weeks.
So far, we have completed this cycle 18 times!!! The ear infections have gotten progressively worse since January. The last few have required several different antibiotics, but the last time, Rocephin shots were required; 3 of them to be exact. 6 days later we were back in the pediatrician's office... she is currently fighting her 18th ear infection. RIDICULOUS! It is a terrible feeling to know your kid is in pain and discomfort and know there isn't a thing you can do to help. There are not enough expletive words to describe how I feel about ear infections. If this "ear infection" was a person, "it" would have already suffered a catastrophic beat down from this momma! But, I digress....
Our pediatrician referred us to a Ear, Nose and Throat doctor who ran, what felt like 300 tests. (But everything seems 3 times longer when you are dealing with a fussy baby) Final evaluation: "significant" fluid in the left ear, "moderate" amount in the right ear, mild/moderate hearing "difficulty" and pain. Final recommendation: Tubes.  The doctor was wonderful. He explained the entire procedure to me, showed me the tubes and answered all my questions.

Once we made the E.N.T appointment, we were both hesitant about Audrey having surgery so young.  It was terrifying on so many levels. She is so small, I was worried about anesthesia, and was very concerned that if we started the process so early, she would be plagued with ear problems for years. After the 3 Rocephin shots, I was ready to cave. I just want her to feel better, my fears and concerns do not matter. It took a little while longer for Jeremy, but when ear infection 18 was diagnosed, we were both exhausted, and desperate for her to feel better. She is never tremendously fussy, but we know she isn't herself when she has an ear infection. I refuse to watch her be in pain or discomfort anymore. After the ENT appointment, I called Jeremy, told him what the doctor said, and we decided to schedule the appointment. May 18th  my baby girl will have her 1st "major" medical procedure. She will be 14 months old. That makes me terribly sad, and worried, but I refuse to let her suffer because of my fears or concerns. So, I will suck it up, and hope this makes my baby feel better!! Everyone I have talked to about tubes, says they will help, and the procedure isn't nearly as long or complicated as it sounds. That makes me a little more comfortable signing the consent forms. I am just hoping we can keep her ears clear until then.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Nausea Purgatory

That's where I am at the moment, nausea purgatory! Morning, noon and night... NO fun! This pregnancy is a little different than the last, which I find odd, because it was just last year; but it is different, none the less. I seem to be more tired this time, I assume because I am chasing a 13 month old. The nausea level is about the same as I remember with Audrey maybe a little worse, but not much. If history repeats its self I will be feeling better next week (15 weeks). But, the headaches, oh my, the headaches are awful! I have experienced the occasional migraine in my life, but they pale in comparison to pregnancy headaches (that's my term for them). I have talked to the MD, and blames the hormones and  offered me some fairly strong meds , but I am not comfortable taking them. So far, the only way they have been remotely tolerable, is to make sure I have some sort of caffeine on a daily basis. I don't drink alot of it, a few sips seem to make the headache tolerable, and according to the MD anything less than 300 milligrams is acceptable. I don't even come close to hitting that number, so I am ok with it for now, but am hoping to quit drinking it completely in a few weeks.

Other than those "few" complaints, I am starting to get some of my energy back.... YAY!!! I am trying to push myself through these last few weeks until I feel better,  telling myself that "mom's don't get days off". And let's be realistic, with two kids under two, I will have zero time to be "sick", so I am looking at this as preparation for the future ;)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

SURPRISE!!

.....Well, we were surprised anyway! I am currently 11 weeks along with baby #2!!!!!!!!! I cannot explain the joy and utter excitement we feel! Another blessing/miracle coming our way seems almost surreal.

I was a day later than usual, no big deal, I didn't even think twice about it honestly. A few days later I was cleaning the house, and found some Kotex coupons, and realized I was pretty late. I still waited 3 more days to take the test, because, let's be honest, our track record isn't very good in the "fertility" realm. I bought the test at Kroger while I was grocery shopping. Ironically, as soon as I pulled into the drive way, the urge to pee hit. So... I took the test while Jeremy brought in the groceries. Let me tell you, when I looked down and saw that "+" sign, I almost fainted. Then I freaked out for a minute, half excited, half terrified. I walked into the kitchen, apparently quite pale, and Jeremy looked at me and said "What's wrong?" I couldn't even muster the words to tell him, I just held the stick out. ( I put the cap on so it wasn't too gross) He looked at it, looked at me and said "Huh! That's positive right?" Yep. We both sat on the couch for about 10 minutes before each of us could say anything. He broke the silence, looked at me and said "2 kids under 2, holy crap". All I could do was shake my head in agreement.  Considering our "history" and past struggles we were honestly just shooting for another baby in the next 2 years, neither of us expected it to happen so soon.

Don't misunderstand me, we are both ELATED with this pregnancy! I cannot wait to have a house full of noise, and toys, and to be able to watch Audrey be a big sister, and experience the bond that only siblings have! I do have to be honest, I spent close to 2 and a half or 3 weeks feeling utterly overwhelmed. It's hard enough to keep up with Ms. Busybody Audrey, how can I keep up with 2?? The laundry is going to be ridiculous... I have to get 100 % organized... I need a label maker.... All of these thoughts and more kept running through my head. I mean, seriously, there was ALOT to think about!

Of course we were both beyond nervous at that 1st prenatal appointment. I don't think I actually spoke to the doctor until we saw that little heartbeat flutter on the ultrasound screen. Then I cried, of course. Unfortunately I had a huge 5 hour presentation at work that day, so off I went. It didn't leave much time for me to settle my thoughts. That weekend, I sat down, and looked at my sweet baby girl, and realized it didn't really matter if the laundry got out of hand, or if we are not 100 % organized, every baby is a blessing, and we are lucky enough to have 2!!

After that I felt better, for the most part, besides the nausea and fatigue. I went to the 2nd appointment by myself, Jeremy had to work. I was ridiculously nervous, but thank goodness I have a great physician. He knew right away that I was freaked out, so he sent me back to the nurse 1st thing to check on the heartbeat so I could relax... He's pretty awesome ;)

So here we are 2 doctor's visits in, and we are looking pretty good. We haven't decided if we are going to find out the sex. I have mixed feelings about it, so we are going to wait a bit to decide.

I am having a hard time feeling like I am "bonding" with this baby. Mostly because Ms. Audrey takes so much of my time, and work takes the other. When I was pregnant with her, I would spend hours of my day daydreaming about what she would be like, or look like, and constantly thinking of how to raise our little miracle. I approached Jeremy about how I was feeling and he looked at me and grinned, like he usually does when he is about to say something profound, and patted my leg and said " You need to relax. The fact that you are already worried about it, means you are already bonding. We already love this baby ,trust me you are already in momma hen mode." Sometimes I hate the fact that he makes things make sense, when I over complicate things, but it's also the reason we make an amazing team.

So here we are... #2 is in the "oven". I thank God every time I look at our little girl, for blessing us with her. Words cannot express the absolute awe I have that he is blessing us again! It's almost too good to be true. I truly believe our "struggles" were for a reason, and we will not take these miracles for granted, and I will thank Him every single day for the blessings we have received.

I am thinking about starting another blog to detail our journey with number 2, but I haven't decided quite yet.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Catching up....

So... I have been on quite a haitus from the blog, for a reason I will post later...

But in the meantime, let's catch up...

My sweet baby girl is now ONE!!!! Oh how the time has flown by! It seems like yesterday we brought her home, and were oohhing an aahhing over every one of her features. Now she's ONE! Yikes! We celebrated Wed. night (her actual b-day) with several family members and homemade cupcakes. The following Saturday she had a party surrounded by her family and friends! It was quite an event! I was so proud of how well she did! Pics to come later....

She shakes her head "no-no" every chance she gets, it's quite cute (for now!) She is on the verge of walking. She is quite capable and has taken up to 3 steps at a time, but for some reason she is afraid to let go and take off. She is quite a thinker, this one.  She will look all the way around the room, and figure out how to get where she wants to go without taking her hand off anything. Oy!

At her one year check-up my little twerp weighed in at 19 lbs and 14 ouces. She is almost 28 inches long. Both of her "stats" are under the 30th percentile. She's just going to be petite! Her hemoglobin level was a little low, so they are going to check it the next time we are there just to be sure it's ok. So I have been trying extremely hard to give her an abundance of iron fortified food. She also showed the nurse quite a bit of her personality  when she pricked her finger. The nurse pricked her finger, and Audrey looked at her, shook her head, pointed her finger and shook her finger and said "uh-uh"!  Then she turned around and reached for me....It was quite adorable.

We have also had our 1st experience with the "biter" at daycare. Ironically, that's when I experienced my first momma rage. I was infuriated that some other kid, bit my child while being supervised by 3 adults... Really?!? How exactly does that happen? After a phone call, which was quite calm, I assure you, I got over it. I know she can't live in a protective bubble, but I will never be ok with my child getting hurt. I will understand that "it" happens, but if I could, I would protect her forever.  Of course, Jeremy's response was , well. "at least she's not the biter". He has a point ;)

Her vocabulary is getting larger and larger. So far she can say "bite, momma, dad, daddy, book, dog, woof woof, bubble, bye bye"  She says some other words, but none very consistently!!

That's all I have tonight.... I will continue to catch up in the next few days!