She's here! Our beautiful, amazing, perfect, adorable little girl is here. I guess I should start from the beginning......
Monday, March 22nd, I woke up and drug my tired butt to work. I felt a little funny all day, but when you are pregnant, that is nothing new. I told my boss I was going home. Sitting in the car on Nicholasville Rd. I felt a sharp pain and thought "How strange." By the time I got home, I knew it was definitely contractions. I waited a bit to see how far apart they were, and at 1hr 10 min apart, I was no where near panicked. I called Jeremy, let him know and told him not to come home, because I could contract for a while at this rate, no hurry. Well, 2 hours later I was contracting every 10 minutes, needless to say Jeremy made it home in 15 minutes (It is usually a 30 minute drive). We decided not to call the MD because, once again I thought, "this could last a while".
He took a shower, and I started feeling worse. After every contraction I was vomiting profusely. I lost track of time, and finally asked Jeremy how far apart the contractions were, and said 3 minutes. Off we went to the hospital, things were just happening too fast. We checked in about 8pm
We checked in, got "comfortable", the nurse came in and told me I was severely dehydrated. 3 bags of fluid, and 6 centimeters later, it was 6am. I did not want an epidural, but the doctor felt I didn't have a choice. So they crammed the needle in my back, and I do have to say I was sooo relieved. My sister was there by 7am, and I crashed and took a nap for a little bit. I was awakened by the nurse making me wear an oxygen mask because the baby's heartbeat was starting to become irregular. Panic started setting in. By noon the nurse told me I was 7 centimeters. Then everything happened extremely fast. We planned on calling family only when I was at the pushing stage. Jeremy was desperately making calls by 12:30. The MD came in and checked things out. Then he went back to the office, told the nurse to call him when I was "ready" and he was back by 1pm. Our little miracle entered the world at 1:31pm March 23rd. She weighed 6lbs, 9 ounces and was 19 inches long.
Then came the scariest moment of my life....she wasn't crying. The doctor was cleaning out her airways, due to meconium aspiration. (Terrifying) They immediately handed her over to nurses and a pediatrician. Jeremy didn't get the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord. 5 minutes past with absolutely no news, not even a whisper, so I started FREAKING out. Jeremy went to the nursing area, to see her and make sure she was ok. He was reluctant to leave me at the time, but he said judging from the look on my face he didn't have a choice. Again, it seemed like an eternity passed, but he came back and said she was ok. I still had my doubts, and was crying profusely. The MD told me to relax everything would be fine, but at the time, his word meant less than crap to me, I wanted my baby. The nurse brought her in, and let me hold her for 2 minutes, and she actually timed it, literally 2 minutes. Then they took my baby away again. Again, the panic set in. They let Jeremy walked her to the nursery, and that gave me some peace of mind. He kept telling me not to panic, she would be fine. I know the risk of meconium aspiration, and was terrified. I must have asked every nurse that came in how her respiration was, if she was stable, and 200 more questions. I think they were annoyed with me, but to their credit, each one of them acted extremely professional while they evading my questions. We moved rooms, got settled in, filled out 400 forms and answered just as many questions from a new team of doctors and nurses. The hardest part at this point was trying to stay calm, so no one else panicked. Jeremy and I thought that was for the best that no one knew the risks, unless it was absolutely necessary. I couldn't even think about sending her to NICU. Saying I prayed hard, would be a understatement. I am prettty sure God was tiredof hearing me. ;)
I know I asked Jeremy to walk to the nursery and check on her at least 3 times. Her respiration was not stable. Again, the freaking out happened.
Finally, at 6pm that night, they brought our baby girl to me. We got to spend some alone time with her, for a little bit, and I cried like a baby. I felt like I could actually breathe for the first time all day. She was as close to perfect as I could ever expect (but I am kind of biased).
She made an eventful appearance, but I should not have expected any less. She is our little miracle baby. Again, He answered my prayers.
Jeremy has been just as wonderful as I expected him to be, in some ways better. They say you fall in love all over again with your husband, when you have a baby, and I say that is an understatement. It is undescribable to see the man you decided to spend the rest of your life with, holding a little tiny 6lb baby and know he would move heaven and earth for her, literally. He changed her 1st diaper, which he assures me is worse than any diaper that has occur ed since then. He gets up randomly during the night when he can't hear her breathing, just to make sure she is ok. He talks to her like she understands every word he says. He can't stand to see or hear her cry. He cried when he left the hospital to come home for the night to get some sleep, because he couldn't stand to be away from her that long. How can you not love a man like that? People have told me they are "surprised at how well Jeremy does with the baby", my response "I'm not. I knew he would be great." It honestly irritates me when people express doubt in him, but I think I cover well. I know he has tattoos and piercings, and sometimes he can look a little "scary", but he has a heart of pure gold. He is better than great with her, he is fantastic. He is her daddy!!
He manages to do all this for our daughter, and asks me at least 3 or 4 times a day if I am ok. Of course I am ok, we have a fabulous family. He reminds me that the laundry can wait, I should be sleeping. He reminds me to "do what the doctor told you do", who cares if there are dishes in the sink. Needless to say, I am more and more thankful everyday that I said "yes" to this wonderful man.
I am going to enjoy this blog, as it lets me put my thoughts somewhere other than in my own head. It is very therapeutic, but it is also a place to "brag" about our perfect little family, and reflect about Audrey's Amazing Appearance!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Anxiously Awaiting Audrey
At 39 weeks and 3 days, you could say I am getting impatient. We can't wait to meet our baby girl, but I guess a few more days won't kill us. Everyone asks if I am miserable, but luckily I feel fine, honestly, probably a little too good. When I tell people I am impatient, most just grin and shake their head. I don't think they really understand. While 9 months feels like forever, we have been waiting on this little miracle for 3 and a half years.
It seems like just yesterday we were dealing with ovulation tests, doctor appointments, negative pregnancy tests, miscarriage, tears, frustration, and all the baggage that comes with "trying", to no avail. In December 2009, we decided that maybe, just maybe, we weren't meant to be "biological" parents, and decided we were going to open our home to adoption. The day we made that decision, I went on a small shopping spree at Amazon.com. I ordered and read everything I could get my hands on about adoption. From "How-to" books, to how to handle adoption emotionally, to Adoption for dummies, I read them all. We even started our own little adoption fund, at the end of January to get the process started ASAP. Honestly, I think it was the most relaxed couple of months we had experienced in a LONG time. We even planned a long weekend at the lake with friends. Until that point we were putting money in our "baby fund" like crazy people, but came to the realization that we needed a break. We were going to relax and have some fun. We planned, and packed and took a few extra days off work just to spend some time together. It was nice. July 24th, I woke up, finished packing, ran some errands, and found myself in dire need of a nap. I woke up, looked at the clock, and realized I needed to move quick, it was almost time to go. I have no idea why, or what hit me to make think of it, but I thought "Crap, I am a day late". Not that it was a unusual occurrence by any means, but it was a little odd. I immediately thought of the one pregnancy test left buried in the very bottom of the drawer and thought, "Nah, I'm sure its gonna be negative, I will just wait a few days." Jeremy came home, we packed up the dogs, and after a long discussion he convinced me to take the test, just so I wouldn't be "worried" about it the whole time we were gone. It took 5 seconds for two lines to appear, and the panic to set in. I never knew you could be excited, scared, terrified, and shocked at the same time. Immediately, the tears the tears started. I really didn't think I could handle another miscarriage, and with our history, I felt it was inevitable. We decided to head on to the lake, and try to enjoy ourselves for a few days, and honestly the sleep was well needed at that point.
I called and made the dreaded doctor's appointment again. I had a eerie deja-vu feeling, and was not particularly happy about it. The doctor wanted me to wait a little longer before he was me, because of my "history". He didn't want me to come in until I was close to 10 weeks. That was a lifetime away. Jeremy did his best to keep me entertained, (those of you who know him, can only imagine what he came up with) and we just took things a day at a time. He noticed that things were different this time, before I did. I didn't have alot of pregnancy symptoms, other than being stuck in nausea purgatory, where you can't throw up, but prayed you could just so you would feel better. I was convinced that since I didn't have many symptoms, we would be getting bad news at the ol' doctor's office. Finally, D-day rolled around, as Jeremy called it. We both took the day off work, just in case we received bad news at the doctor's office, and made the dreaded trip to Central Baptist. We got to the office, and luckily only waited 5 minutes. They called my name, and in we went. I thought I was going to pass out. I had prepared myself for bad news, but prayed nightly we would get good news, and hoped it would work this time. The nurse, whom I adore, came in checked my vitals and asked me if I was ready for the doctor. I couldn't even muster up words, I just shook my head. We may as well get it over with. The doctor came in, asked his 200 questions, and it was time. The dreaded ultrasound. I laid on the table and Jeremy held my hand. I kept looking at the doctor's face instead of the ultrasound screen, hoping to be distracted. He looked at me and said the most amazing words " Look at this flicker, the heartbeat is strong" I had no idea, I was holding my breath, until I let it out in a giant "whoosh", and leaned back. The doctor patted my leg and said "It's ok, you can breath now." I looked over at Jeremy, who was in fact crying and just beginning to breathe, himself. Honestly, my first thought, was "Holy crap this may actually work out."
Of course we were both ecstatic, cautious, but oh so excited. We did wait a few more days, and before telling people, but Jeremy wanted to shout it from the roof tops, so it didn't take long for the word to spread. It was kind of awkward to tell people we weren't finding out the baby's sex, some took it better than others. I told God if he blessed us with a baby, I would dedicate my life to making sure he/she was well taken care of, and he/she would be my number one priority. No more staying late at work, no more worrying about staying ahead of the competition, and no more ridiculous career focus. Well, he did, so I had to hold up my end of the bargain, and it did not matter to me if it was a girl or boy, a "deal is a deal". I fought many battles defending my decision, but I caved into the wished of my husband. He was dying to know and I didn't feel like I had the right to keep him from knowing. We decided to find out, and tell everyone at Christmas. I knew Jeremy had his heart set on a boy, but I knew better. I told him numerous times, I thought it was girl. That wonderful little picture popped up on the ultrasound screen, and the technician said "You are going to have a beautiful baby girl." Of course, I cried, and starred at screen, absolutely amazed. Then I realized Jeremy was sitting beside me, turned and looked at him, almost expecting some sort of disappointment, but he looked at me and said "Wow, we are having a little girl! A baby girl, WOW!", and of course he cried. As we were leaving the office he looked over at me, dead serious, and said "We need more locks on the door and she's not dating until she's 25" I laughed all the way to the car. She already has him wrapped around her finger.
It took a little time to come up with a name, but we decided on Audrey Leigh Moreland. Audrey was the only name we liked, that wasn't too cutesy or trendy. Jeremy really wanted to use part of his grandmother's name (whom he absolutely adores), so Leigh it was. He wants her to have a strong sense of family, so do I, but I know she will have one. She doesn't have much of a choice, its a big family :)
Not much has happened between the end of October and now, except telling the grandparents, aunts and uncles that they should all plan for a baby girl. It was a wonderful Christmas gift. I do have to say, Jennifer had the most "animated" reaction. Overall, it has been a wonderful experience.
I do have to say that I feel terrible for all the women who have difficult pregnancies, I couldn't imagine. Other than the occassional bout with exhaustion, and a ridiculous sense of smell, I feel absolutely wonderful! I can only hope I am this lucky "next time". ( Yes, I realize how lucky I am ;) )
Our little girl is showing no signs of being ready to join us, but she is due in 5 more days, so hopefully she will decide to make her grand appearance soon. We decided we want to raise a free thinking, independent little girl. While I was worried about how to do that the right way at first, I am not worried anymore. She is already making her own decisions, and doing what she wants....
We are Anxiously Awaiting Audrey.....
It seems like just yesterday we were dealing with ovulation tests, doctor appointments, negative pregnancy tests, miscarriage, tears, frustration, and all the baggage that comes with "trying", to no avail. In December 2009, we decided that maybe, just maybe, we weren't meant to be "biological" parents, and decided we were going to open our home to adoption. The day we made that decision, I went on a small shopping spree at Amazon.com. I ordered and read everything I could get my hands on about adoption. From "How-to" books, to how to handle adoption emotionally, to Adoption for dummies, I read them all. We even started our own little adoption fund, at the end of January to get the process started ASAP. Honestly, I think it was the most relaxed couple of months we had experienced in a LONG time. We even planned a long weekend at the lake with friends. Until that point we were putting money in our "baby fund" like crazy people, but came to the realization that we needed a break. We were going to relax and have some fun. We planned, and packed and took a few extra days off work just to spend some time together. It was nice. July 24th, I woke up, finished packing, ran some errands, and found myself in dire need of a nap. I woke up, looked at the clock, and realized I needed to move quick, it was almost time to go. I have no idea why, or what hit me to make think of it, but I thought "Crap, I am a day late". Not that it was a unusual occurrence by any means, but it was a little odd. I immediately thought of the one pregnancy test left buried in the very bottom of the drawer and thought, "Nah, I'm sure its gonna be negative, I will just wait a few days." Jeremy came home, we packed up the dogs, and after a long discussion he convinced me to take the test, just so I wouldn't be "worried" about it the whole time we were gone. It took 5 seconds for two lines to appear, and the panic to set in. I never knew you could be excited, scared, terrified, and shocked at the same time. Immediately, the tears the tears started. I really didn't think I could handle another miscarriage, and with our history, I felt it was inevitable. We decided to head on to the lake, and try to enjoy ourselves for a few days, and honestly the sleep was well needed at that point.
I called and made the dreaded doctor's appointment again. I had a eerie deja-vu feeling, and was not particularly happy about it. The doctor wanted me to wait a little longer before he was me, because of my "history". He didn't want me to come in until I was close to 10 weeks. That was a lifetime away. Jeremy did his best to keep me entertained, (those of you who know him, can only imagine what he came up with) and we just took things a day at a time. He noticed that things were different this time, before I did. I didn't have alot of pregnancy symptoms, other than being stuck in nausea purgatory, where you can't throw up, but prayed you could just so you would feel better. I was convinced that since I didn't have many symptoms, we would be getting bad news at the ol' doctor's office. Finally, D-day rolled around, as Jeremy called it. We both took the day off work, just in case we received bad news at the doctor's office, and made the dreaded trip to Central Baptist. We got to the office, and luckily only waited 5 minutes. They called my name, and in we went. I thought I was going to pass out. I had prepared myself for bad news, but prayed nightly we would get good news, and hoped it would work this time. The nurse, whom I adore, came in checked my vitals and asked me if I was ready for the doctor. I couldn't even muster up words, I just shook my head. We may as well get it over with. The doctor came in, asked his 200 questions, and it was time. The dreaded ultrasound. I laid on the table and Jeremy held my hand. I kept looking at the doctor's face instead of the ultrasound screen, hoping to be distracted. He looked at me and said the most amazing words " Look at this flicker, the heartbeat is strong" I had no idea, I was holding my breath, until I let it out in a giant "whoosh", and leaned back. The doctor patted my leg and said "It's ok, you can breath now." I looked over at Jeremy, who was in fact crying and just beginning to breathe, himself. Honestly, my first thought, was "Holy crap this may actually work out."
Of course we were both ecstatic, cautious, but oh so excited. We did wait a few more days, and before telling people, but Jeremy wanted to shout it from the roof tops, so it didn't take long for the word to spread. It was kind of awkward to tell people we weren't finding out the baby's sex, some took it better than others. I told God if he blessed us with a baby, I would dedicate my life to making sure he/she was well taken care of, and he/she would be my number one priority. No more staying late at work, no more worrying about staying ahead of the competition, and no more ridiculous career focus. Well, he did, so I had to hold up my end of the bargain, and it did not matter to me if it was a girl or boy, a "deal is a deal". I fought many battles defending my decision, but I caved into the wished of my husband. He was dying to know and I didn't feel like I had the right to keep him from knowing. We decided to find out, and tell everyone at Christmas. I knew Jeremy had his heart set on a boy, but I knew better. I told him numerous times, I thought it was girl. That wonderful little picture popped up on the ultrasound screen, and the technician said "You are going to have a beautiful baby girl." Of course, I cried, and starred at screen, absolutely amazed. Then I realized Jeremy was sitting beside me, turned and looked at him, almost expecting some sort of disappointment, but he looked at me and said "Wow, we are having a little girl! A baby girl, WOW!", and of course he cried. As we were leaving the office he looked over at me, dead serious, and said "We need more locks on the door and she's not dating until she's 25" I laughed all the way to the car. She already has him wrapped around her finger.
It took a little time to come up with a name, but we decided on Audrey Leigh Moreland. Audrey was the only name we liked, that wasn't too cutesy or trendy. Jeremy really wanted to use part of his grandmother's name (whom he absolutely adores), so Leigh it was. He wants her to have a strong sense of family, so do I, but I know she will have one. She doesn't have much of a choice, its a big family :)
Not much has happened between the end of October and now, except telling the grandparents, aunts and uncles that they should all plan for a baby girl. It was a wonderful Christmas gift. I do have to say, Jennifer had the most "animated" reaction. Overall, it has been a wonderful experience.
I do have to say that I feel terrible for all the women who have difficult pregnancies, I couldn't imagine. Other than the occassional bout with exhaustion, and a ridiculous sense of smell, I feel absolutely wonderful! I can only hope I am this lucky "next time". ( Yes, I realize how lucky I am ;) )
Our little girl is showing no signs of being ready to join us, but she is due in 5 more days, so hopefully she will decide to make her grand appearance soon. We decided we want to raise a free thinking, independent little girl. While I was worried about how to do that the right way at first, I am not worried anymore. She is already making her own decisions, and doing what she wants....
We are Anxiously Awaiting Audrey.....
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