WOW!!! Audrey is one month old today! That is absolutely insane. It feels like she has been here forever, and like we brought her home yesterday. Crazy, right?? It has been a spectacular month, I will say that.
I think Jeremy and I have learned so much about each other and ourselves while we have started to see peeks of Audrey's personality. She is starting to show little bits of who she is and who she is becoming, and I cannot wait to discover it with her. So far, she doesn't "look" ovewhelmingly like either one of us, but has some traits of each of us. She has Jeremy's eyes (thank goodness), but is cursed with her momma's short legs. Temperment wise, she is as relaxed as her daddy! She sleeps like him too! A stick of dynamite could not wake either of them ;) On the other hand, when this little girl is hungry, and isn't fed promptly, she gets CRANKY. She gets that from her momma!
I hope that when the time comes, she is secure in who she is as a person, and has the confidence to express herself.
I am so excited for the next part of the parenting "journey". I just hope this little girl always knows how much she is loved and adored.
I can't wait to see what's in store for all us!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Perfect Mother....
is a mythical creature, who lives beside the unicorn in fairy valley. June Cleaver and Mrs. Brady have to be characters made up by Hollywood to make us "normal" mothers feel like crap. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom, but it has good moments, and not so good moments. Some people make it look easy, and some days it is, but there are days, when you think you are going to go nuts or get so frustrated you want to sit down and cry.
Let me divulge.....
Breastfeeding is HARD. It is extremely rewarding most days, and it is the perfect reason to spend time alone with Ms. Audrey. Other days, when she wants to eat every hour and a half, and I have so much to do, or am exhausted, it is frustrating. At night when she wants to eat every hour and a half, and eats for 20 minutes, it makes you second guess the breast feeding decision. Then there are times when you feel like you are tethered to the house. When you get the diaper bag and baby ready to go out the door, it is time to feed again. I just have to remind myself some days that I am doing what is best for my daughter, and that usually takes the frustration out of the situation. (Note: I said usually) It is time consuming, frustrating, rewarding and an amazing bonding experience... doesn't make much sense does it?? Maybe that's why it is so aggravating some days. I can definitely understand why some people just give up, or decide to bottle feed. We introduced the bottle this week, and Audrey did phenomenal! Now comes the decision to continue to breastfeed and only use the bottle occassionally, or pump and strictly bottle feed.... This is one of the few topics Jeremy actually has an opinion about. I usually get "Whatever you think is best" as an answer, (which is frustrating sometimes), but not this time. He thinks I should breastfeed for 6 months, thinking it is what is best for our daughter. I think we will be compromising on this one.
I guess the point of this post is to let everyone who is a new mom know that it is ok to get frustrated, overwhelmed, and doubt your decision making.(As well as to remind myself) I have decided it is just part of the process that makes you a mom, in more than just the word. Lord knows how much we wanted this little miracle, and I felt (and still feel) sooo guilty for being frustrated, aggravated and overwhelmed. I decided this week that it is just part of the process... maybe it is supposed to teach me a lesson, because I know I will never be a "perfect mom" but maybe this process will make me a better mom.
Let me divulge.....
Breastfeeding is HARD. It is extremely rewarding most days, and it is the perfect reason to spend time alone with Ms. Audrey. Other days, when she wants to eat every hour and a half, and I have so much to do, or am exhausted, it is frustrating. At night when she wants to eat every hour and a half, and eats for 20 minutes, it makes you second guess the breast feeding decision. Then there are times when you feel like you are tethered to the house. When you get the diaper bag and baby ready to go out the door, it is time to feed again. I just have to remind myself some days that I am doing what is best for my daughter, and that usually takes the frustration out of the situation. (Note: I said usually) It is time consuming, frustrating, rewarding and an amazing bonding experience... doesn't make much sense does it?? Maybe that's why it is so aggravating some days. I can definitely understand why some people just give up, or decide to bottle feed. We introduced the bottle this week, and Audrey did phenomenal! Now comes the decision to continue to breastfeed and only use the bottle occassionally, or pump and strictly bottle feed.... This is one of the few topics Jeremy actually has an opinion about. I usually get "Whatever you think is best" as an answer, (which is frustrating sometimes), but not this time. He thinks I should breastfeed for 6 months, thinking it is what is best for our daughter. I think we will be compromising on this one.
I guess the point of this post is to let everyone who is a new mom know that it is ok to get frustrated, overwhelmed, and doubt your decision making.(As well as to remind myself) I have decided it is just part of the process that makes you a mom, in more than just the word. Lord knows how much we wanted this little miracle, and I felt (and still feel) sooo guilty for being frustrated, aggravated and overwhelmed. I decided this week that it is just part of the process... maybe it is supposed to teach me a lesson, because I know I will never be a "perfect mom" but maybe this process will make me a better mom.
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