#2??

I have been thinking alot lately about #2... Yes, that's right, I have baby fever already! I LOVED being pregnant and would do it again in a heartbeat. If that little voice in my head was not screaming "BE RESPONSIBLE", I would go full steam ahead, but there are things to consider besides my recent obsession with babies.
We have talked about it, at length, and are going to wait at least a year, and reevaluate the situation. If I find myself in a position where I am able to work closer to home, we will evaluate before then. I will be 30 next year, and with our "trouble" and past history, I am not entirely convinced we are meant to "have" #2, but I am ok with that. Maybe it is our "history" that has prepared me for that reality, and I am fine with the struggle that will ensue once again. If it becomes too much of a struggle, we will start the adoption process. That is something we have already decided as well. I desperately want Audrey to have a immediate family that consists of a little brother or sister, and experience that unique bond. As the oldest of 4, I know how rewarding that bond is. She will have a cousin (Mr. Kayden sometime at the end of Sept.) 6 months younger than she is, and I am looking forward to watching them grow together. I can't wait. The next year is going to be AMAZING!!!

On a side note: It's nice to finally be at peace with "the struggle",as I have realized not to let the "struggle" define me. It does not make me less of a person, or a weaker person. It allows me to draw on my experiences, and I like to think "the struggle" gave me a unique perspective and will make me a better parent. I firmly believe I am meant to be a mom, and God has granted me that amazing privilege. If I am meant to be pregnant again, I will be. I have faith in that. If not, that's ok, because pregnant or not, I am someone's mom, and will be again, and hopefully we can come up with a better name than "#2". :)