*Forgotten post*

Ok, so I *may* have neglected this blog a little too much, but our lives are slightly chaotic ;)

Anyway... Our sweet little Olivia will turning ONE on Sunday!! ONE!! As in she has been here with us an entire year, 365 days! What?!?!?! How can that be??  It quite literally seems like I was in the hospital giving birth YESTERDAY! ....but I am digressing..
The plan for this blog started out as a catch up on our life with 2 kids under 2 and a half, but I have had a ridiculously emotional week, dealing with Olivia turning ONE! So let's start there...

Anyone who knows us, knows our kids, especially Olivia, have been plagued with ear infections! Well, not much has changed, except we are on a 2 week stretch with Olivia not having one! ( I am almost afraid to type that sentence!) She is oh, so happy when she is ear infection free, so I am hoping this "stretch" lasts a long time. Our sweet little Lou ( trying to stop using that nickname, but it's so dang hard!) still sleeps with us more often, than not. She has been eating better recently, most likely due to healthy ears, but I will take what I can get! She uses a few words consistently, but not clearly. I am worried that the hearing impairment she suffered from the ear infections is going to have more of a lsting effect than we originally thought, but we will deal with it as we go. She crawls everywhere, pulls up consistently, and stands on her own occassionally, but she isn't walking yet. She LOVES music! She will shake her whole body, and swing her arms like she is dancing whenever music is on. Her favorite toys, are of course musical ones ;) I am the least musically inclined person on the planet, so I am working on how to encourage and develop her love of music. It's going to take some research, but in the mean time her Aunt and Uncle are pretty musically inclined, so we will just take cues from them and our nephew Kayden ;)  (Who, by the way, has a new adaorable little brother, Mykah!)

Olivia will be one in exactly 5 days and it is absolutely breaking.my.heart! I was horribly sad when Audrey turned one, and two, but for some reason little Olivia's birthday is hurting my heart in a different way! We have NOT taken #3 off the table, nor have we 100% decided there will be a #3, so I think part of the heartbreak is knowing she may really be "the baby." Meaning, she may be the last baby we have, so naturally she will always be my baby. I think there is a little more to it though. Audrey had ear infections , but she never really "needed" me. Most of the time they did not drastically affect her, and after 2 doses of antibiotic she was good to go! That is not the case with Olivia, she  wants her momma when she doesn't feel good, and you can tell she is in pain. I absolutely love and adore both of my girls, do not misunderstand that, but Olivia just needed more from me, and I think that is why turning one, and no longer being a baby is hurting my heart! As I  sit here typing, she is literally standing beside me saying"mommommommommom" and holding her arms up for me to hold her...Seriously this kid is too cute not to pick up and cuddle!!!

To put it quite simply, I am just not ready for my baby to be one!