So what.....

It sounds rather elementary, but those 2 words snapped me back to reality. Sounds ridiculous, right?
Let me rewind.......
I have been struggling ALOT lately, with the "traditional mom vs. career mom" decision and definition. I constantly beat myself up because I have to work for a living (gasp), and cannot stay home with our baby girl. I am surrounded by "traditional" moms, who either have the ability to stay home with their children, or have the luxury of being home to get their kids off the bus, or only work for "spending" money. I, however, do not have that luxury and was beginning to feel inadequate as a mother.
Recently, I was offered a very wonderful opportunity for a "huge" promotion, but it involves substantially more work. Luckily, that does not mean more time away from home, just cramming more into my day, and working from home after Audrey is in bed. I obsessed over this decision for days, feeling like a HORRIBLE mother, because I was actually was contemplating choosing work over my daughter. Balancing life, mommyhood and a career is not easy.
I sat at lunch with one of my dear friends, explaining the agonizing decision I was trying to make. She completely understood, and sympathized with me, because it was her duty as my BFF, but she looked at me like I had 4 heads. Then she looked at me, said 2 words, and rattled my world.
The conversation went something like this:
Me : " I feel like people think I am a horrible mom. I work 50 plus hours a week, not including drive time, and I am contemplating taking on more responsibilty. I am always home for bedtime, and make sure I am the first person she sees when she gets up, but how do I know if that's enough."
Her : " Sounds like you have most of your bases covered, and I know Jeremy always pitches in when needed. Does Audrey ever go without what she needs? I know for a fact every time she is sick or needs you, you stay home. Seems like you know what your priorities are and how to organize time to make sure you spend time with her."
Me : " I just feel like other people look at me like it's not enough"
Her : " So what??"
*Picture me with a very confused look on my face*
Epiphany!!!
Her : "You have always been an independent thinker, why do you care what other people think now?!"

Holy Crap!!! She's a genius!
Who was I becoming? I know I am a good mom, and wife. Why was I so confused??
I call it "mommy guilt." I would LOVE to spend every single minute with Audrey, but I do not have that luxury. I schedule my time well, and make sure each and everyone of her needs is met in a timely fashion. I am always home by 6:30 at the latest. (It is by far, my favorite time of the day) I feed her, we have playtime, I bathe her, read her a bedtime story and put her to bed. It's what we call "mommy time." That also helps dad get his "daddy time", so he can take a breather. I get her up every morning. We have play time, I feed her, get her dressed and we start our day together.
I can do this. I really think I can. I know some people don't get it, or think I am choosing the wrong path. In the end, I will provide a wonderful life for my daughter, and that is what matters. I know it will not be easy, I don't expect it to. The biggest fan I have, is my amazingly supportive husband, who I come home to every night. He is the lynch pin in this operation.

As long as my daughter and husband are happy and know they are loved and cherished, I will consider myself a good mom and wife. If the day comes, when either of them tell me or feel otherwise, I will be more than happy to remedy the situation.

As far as what other people think.... So what!?!

P.S. Her parting one liner is now my motto "Superwoman had no Kryptonite!!"