SURPRISE!!

.....Well, we were surprised anyway! I am currently 11 weeks along with baby #2!!!!!!!!! I cannot explain the joy and utter excitement we feel! Another blessing/miracle coming our way seems almost surreal.

I was a day later than usual, no big deal, I didn't even think twice about it honestly. A few days later I was cleaning the house, and found some Kotex coupons, and realized I was pretty late. I still waited 3 more days to take the test, because, let's be honest, our track record isn't very good in the "fertility" realm. I bought the test at Kroger while I was grocery shopping. Ironically, as soon as I pulled into the drive way, the urge to pee hit. So... I took the test while Jeremy brought in the groceries. Let me tell you, when I looked down and saw that "+" sign, I almost fainted. Then I freaked out for a minute, half excited, half terrified. I walked into the kitchen, apparently quite pale, and Jeremy looked at me and said "What's wrong?" I couldn't even muster the words to tell him, I just held the stick out. ( I put the cap on so it wasn't too gross) He looked at it, looked at me and said "Huh! That's positive right?" Yep. We both sat on the couch for about 10 minutes before each of us could say anything. He broke the silence, looked at me and said "2 kids under 2, holy crap". All I could do was shake my head in agreement.  Considering our "history" and past struggles we were honestly just shooting for another baby in the next 2 years, neither of us expected it to happen so soon.

Don't misunderstand me, we are both ELATED with this pregnancy! I cannot wait to have a house full of noise, and toys, and to be able to watch Audrey be a big sister, and experience the bond that only siblings have! I do have to be honest, I spent close to 2 and a half or 3 weeks feeling utterly overwhelmed. It's hard enough to keep up with Ms. Busybody Audrey, how can I keep up with 2?? The laundry is going to be ridiculous... I have to get 100 % organized... I need a label maker.... All of these thoughts and more kept running through my head. I mean, seriously, there was ALOT to think about!

Of course we were both beyond nervous at that 1st prenatal appointment. I don't think I actually spoke to the doctor until we saw that little heartbeat flutter on the ultrasound screen. Then I cried, of course. Unfortunately I had a huge 5 hour presentation at work that day, so off I went. It didn't leave much time for me to settle my thoughts. That weekend, I sat down, and looked at my sweet baby girl, and realized it didn't really matter if the laundry got out of hand, or if we are not 100 % organized, every baby is a blessing, and we are lucky enough to have 2!!

After that I felt better, for the most part, besides the nausea and fatigue. I went to the 2nd appointment by myself, Jeremy had to work. I was ridiculously nervous, but thank goodness I have a great physician. He knew right away that I was freaked out, so he sent me back to the nurse 1st thing to check on the heartbeat so I could relax... He's pretty awesome ;)

So here we are 2 doctor's visits in, and we are looking pretty good. We haven't decided if we are going to find out the sex. I have mixed feelings about it, so we are going to wait a bit to decide.

I am having a hard time feeling like I am "bonding" with this baby. Mostly because Ms. Audrey takes so much of my time, and work takes the other. When I was pregnant with her, I would spend hours of my day daydreaming about what she would be like, or look like, and constantly thinking of how to raise our little miracle. I approached Jeremy about how I was feeling and he looked at me and grinned, like he usually does when he is about to say something profound, and patted my leg and said " You need to relax. The fact that you are already worried about it, means you are already bonding. We already love this baby ,trust me you are already in momma hen mode." Sometimes I hate the fact that he makes things make sense, when I over complicate things, but it's also the reason we make an amazing team.

So here we are... #2 is in the "oven". I thank God every time I look at our little girl, for blessing us with her. Words cannot express the absolute awe I have that he is blessing us again! It's almost too good to be true. I truly believe our "struggles" were for a reason, and we will not take these miracles for granted, and I will thank Him every single day for the blessings we have received.

I am thinking about starting another blog to detail our journey with number 2, but I haven't decided quite yet.