Here we go...

So.... Even though I swore I wouldn't do it until January, I went back to the doctor to talk about #2. I know, I'm crazy! I am just one of those people, who want to be proactive I suppose. The funny thing is, as soon as the doctor walked into the room, he looked at me; winked, and said "I bet you want #2!" He's a mind reader!

We talked and conversated trying to come up with the best "plan of attack" as the doctor called it, and decided to try one more round of medication. I refused several types of treatment that we tried last time, because they make me feel like crap, and I refuse to be at 50% for my daughter. She deserves her mom to be at 100% for her at all times. We finally compromised on one more hormone treatment, and an honest to goodness effort by me to get my blood sugar under control. He basically told me that last time I got pregnant with no medication or treatment was a complete "stroke of luck", or in my terms "complete miracle". So, here we go again. 3 months of hormone treatment, and a strict diet, and maybe, just maybe, #2 sometime next year.


After the last time, and all the struggles we dealt with, it was really hard to come to the decision, that we are going to do it again. Not that we don't want #2, or don't think it is well worth it, for lack of better words, it was just HARD to deal with. But here we are, getting ready to do it again.

I am trying not to get excited, but I refuse to be pessimistic either. I have decided not to be greedy; meaning we already received our miracle, if we are not blessed with another one, I am ok with that. I almost feel guilty asking for another one, not too many people are blessed with one miracle. Who am I to ask for another? I do hope the big Man blesses us with another child, but I have decided I am ok with our family of 3 for now. We decided to "try" for a year, max!! After that we will consider alternatives; adoption, foster care, etc. I just don't want Audrey to ever think she isn't enough because we want another child. We adore that little girl, and will happily spend every day making sure she knows that!! I am trying to take everything for what it is. The "struggle" will NOT define me. Actually, I refuse to let it be a struggle. I will consider myself blessed either way.