Throwing in the towel

Hot flashes suck! The hormone treatments are seriously affecting me at this point. I am giving it up. This decision was not easily or quickly made, but bottom line, it's putting too much of a den t in my life. Hot flashes, mood swings, achiness, and exhaustion. I can't fit all of that into my normal work & mommy schedule. I will not be at 50% for my daughter. That basically sums it up....
We have been talking about giving it up for a few weeks, but I thought I could muster through it. I know it's a shock but, I can be quite stubborn ;) That wonderful husband of mine, put it quite simply, "Life is too short for all this." It never ceases to amaze me that his simple take on life makes complete sense!! We have been talking about it for 2 weeks, and tonight the decision was made. We have been blessed beyond measure, and we know that, so we are leaving #2 in HIS hands. Honestly it wasn't a horribly difficult decision, because I don't feel like I was making the decision for me or Jeremy. We made the decision for Audrey's sake. At this point, all of our time is precious, so I refuse to lose time with my daughter because I am tired or feel bad. I know everyone gets tired and cranky, but I am voluntarily doing this to myself by taking this medication. That was a pretty easy decision. Of all the treatments, and other stuff we tried in the past, I always felt like I had to do it, and persevere. I no longer feel that way, I have my miracle upstairs sleeping as I am typing this.... and well, .... that's pretty awesome!
Don't get me wrong, I definitely and almost desperately want another child. Jeremy feels the same way. But, you know, we left it in HIS hands last time, and I have a beautiful, happy, healthy little girl. That worked out pretty well for us. We are just going to trust that if it is supposed to happen again, He will bless us again. We are going to go ahead and still "try" as of the 1st of the year, and hope have #2 sometime relatively soon. If not, there are plenty of children in this world that need a good home. We would be more than happy to provide that! Our view on babies has not changed, we just may have to be creative in getting Audrey a little brother or sister. It just makes it that much easier knowing that no matter what child, ours or adopted, that we end up with, our family will welcome baby #2 with open arms!!!

On a side note:
Although he would never say so, or admit it, I am pretty sure Jeremy is relieved too. When I say mood swings, I mean MOOD SWINGS ;) It's kind of crazy how you know you are being unreasonable, and are powerless to stop it. I am looking forward to being my old self again!!